Make Mission, Go Fishin' - and - Contact Clueless's Mom
Somebody is making it. It feels good when you are rolling, it's damned stressful when you aren't. Thankfully, some recruiters out there are finding young men and women out there willing to step and and serve. Thankfully, there are recruiters out there slogging it out even though our media and part of Congress is telling Americans it's OK not to support our country and telling our enemies that they'll do what they can to help them defeat America.
You can disagree with me if you like, but that's my opinion and it's coming from the perspective of a Soldier. If you say you support me ("the troops") but you say things that help the enemy, then you are a liar. Plain and simple. All you're lacking is your suicide vest and Al Qeada membership card. [Rant off]
Militantpundit makes a great point felt by every recruiter I've ever talked to:
Here's a clue for parents of young men and women of military age: the Army (in fact, all branches) have advertising! We send out postcards, have commercials on TV and radio, advertise on billboards, during sporting events, and even have a neat little website. Now, when your son or daughter gets ahold of one of those postcards and fills it out to get a pair of Army gym socks, or does the same thing with the 1-800 number, or gets on your computer and gets past the porn... Anyway, when Johnny or Susie fills out the form and sends it in, he or she will get the socks, t-shirt, or video that they asked for. They have also in the same act expressed some level of interest in the Army.
Sure, many have just a passing interest. You know, the Army "sounds" cool to them but being in it would get in the way of bagging groceries and stealing change out of your purse to pay for movies or something. Some, however, are interested in finding out what the Army has to offer. What are the pay and entitlements? What are the benefits of serving? What's it like and what could one expect from an enlistment? All questions that recruiters are trained to answer.
Admittedly, some recruiters are better than others. But then, so are some recruits. Also, personality has a lot to do with it. Some recruiters can't talk to lots of people at one time. Some are comfortable in crowds. I've known recruiters that did not like going to the college campus. One of my best recruiters practically lived there. You get the idea.
What I will tell you worked best for the really good recruiters that I observed was their openness and honesty. They would not "bullshit" an answer if they didn't know, but they would find out the answer eventually. If something sucked, they told you it sucked. In fact, they made sure that you understood that Basic Training was going to suck. But they also wanted you to understand how proud you and your family would be when you finally did graduate from Basic and earned the right to be called a Soldier in the world's greatest Army.
Anyway, the thing that frustrates me the most about all this "counter-recruiter" or "leave-my-child-alone" crap is that out of all the young men and women out there, not even half could join the Army. I, as a recruiter, don't want to harass your "child". I don't want to call your house 50 times a day, stalk your kid, or knock on your door at dinner time. When I do, though, it's because your "child" said he wanted my attention. Somehow, someway, in some fashion, Johnny or Susie told me he or she was interested in the Army. I just want to follow up on that interest and find out how far it goes. All I ask for is a chance to tell you what the Army has to offer and tell my Army story. If, after hearing what I have to say, Johnny or Susie isn't interested, needs more time to think or just wants to get more information, so be it. At least I'll hear an informed "no" instead of an ignorant "no".
Finally, everyone has an impression that all recruiters lie. Of course, a few bad apples can spoil the bunch, but here is a worm in your apple: most parents and recruitable kids lie. Recruiters, how many times have you heard the following (parents, how many times have you SAID the following):
LIE: I'm going to college/my son or daughter is going to college. TRUTH: not every kid goes to college. I'm not stupid. Your son took the ASVAB in school and barely passed. He's not going to college to study psychology. Your daughter is barely eligible to enlist in the least technical of Army jobs, she's not going to college to become a RN. So stop lying, most importantly, to yourselves.
LIE: I thought about enlisting but It's not for me. TRUTH: You don't know if it's "not for you" or not. All you know about the Army is what your uncle told you about Vietnam and that the slogan used to be "Be All You Can Be" but now it's "An Army of One". So, let me tell you what the Army is like TODAY. Not 5 or 10 years ago, not Vietnam or Grenada, but now. If you don't like it, fine. I'll take my informed "no" and move on.
LIE: I can't cut my hair. TRUTH: duh, yeah right. Here's a good twist: I'm growing my hair out to donate to charity, you know, for cancer patients. My reply: great, doesn't mean you can't enlist, though. Let me tell you about opportunities in the Army, if you like it, we can set things up so that you leave after you cut your hair to donate. Obviously you feel service to the community is important, which is why you donate to charity, so let me show you how you can serve your country.
LIE: MY parents/wife/girlfriend (switch gender for females) won't let me. TRUTH: This is America, buddy. You have the right to do what you want, within reason of course. Besides, you are 26 years old and your girlfriend's two kids by two different men are afraid of you. Your parents are tired of giving you gas money for your "tricked out" Honda Civic and picking you up from your job at Wendy's at 1:00 a.m. because you loaned your car to "Booger" go to go buy beer and he never came back. You know what, nevermind, we don't want you!
I could go on and on... and I know that my recruiter comrades could tell story after story of the silly bullshit that we hear day in and day out. But I'll end with this advice: stop calling your 18+ year old a child. He or she is legally an adult. "Leave my child alone" is silly and speaks more to your inability to parent than to the government's need to populate the military. It makes no sense to force recruiters to leave your "child" alone only to put the government in a position of drafting your left-alone "child" for the military anyway. Let the recruiters hear your son or daughter say "no thanks" on the phone so we can put it in our "database" and call you back in 6 months to hear the same "no thanks". Did you know that most enlistees told a recruiter "no" about 4 to 6 times before they said "yes"? Besides, what are you afraid of? Recruiters can't make your son join. We can't brainwash your daughter. We won't trick you into enlisting (oh, that bus just goes back to the recruiting office, not Basic Training! Trust me!). I know what you are afraid of. You are afraid your son or daughter will WANT to enlist! Heaven forbid your progeny serve the country which affords you freedoms unlike any other in the world!
Here's something for you to chew on. I had a recruiter come to me with a dilemma once. He had a parent call him and say his son wanted to enlist. Usually, that's a setup, meaning mom and dad want Junior to enlist and get the hell out of town before the sheriff gets him first. This parent, however, assured my recruiter that that was not the case, his son genuinely wanted to enlist. So, sergeant recruiter looks up the contact history of this kid and sees that he told the recruiter, "F**k off, I'll never join the f**king Army ever!" The recruiter felt that he might be going into a hostile situation. I told him to see what happens. If the kid gets belligerent, thank the parents and leave. However, if the kid really wants to enlist, remind him of that last conversation - in front of his parents. He did, and that guy shipped with no problems, happy to go.
You can disagree with me if you like, but that's my opinion and it's coming from the perspective of a Soldier. If you say you support me ("the troops") but you say things that help the enemy, then you are a liar. Plain and simple. All you're lacking is your suicide vest and Al Qeada membership card. [Rant off]
Militantpundit makes a great point felt by every recruiter I've ever talked to:
These whiney, candy assed little wimps cannot handle a freaking phone call from one of the most polite, professional salesmen in the WORLD. Hey folks, if you do not scream at us, call us names, or tell us that your kid is going to college when he cannot even spell his name right and he is #141 of 142 graduating in his class, we usually will only call you once in the fall, once in the spring, and once near or just past graduation. If you are an ass you will get more phone calls. We like killing you with kindness. If your kid wants to be in the military and he creates a lead somehow, we will call until YOUR CHILD tells us that he is not interested.
Here's a clue for parents of young men and women of military age: the Army (in fact, all branches) have advertising! We send out postcards, have commercials on TV and radio, advertise on billboards, during sporting events, and even have a neat little website. Now, when your son or daughter gets ahold of one of those postcards and fills it out to get a pair of Army gym socks, or does the same thing with the 1-800 number, or gets on your computer and gets past the porn... Anyway, when Johnny or Susie fills out the form and sends it in, he or she will get the socks, t-shirt, or video that they asked for. They have also in the same act expressed some level of interest in the Army.
Sure, many have just a passing interest. You know, the Army "sounds" cool to them but being in it would get in the way of bagging groceries and stealing change out of your purse to pay for movies or something. Some, however, are interested in finding out what the Army has to offer. What are the pay and entitlements? What are the benefits of serving? What's it like and what could one expect from an enlistment? All questions that recruiters are trained to answer.
Admittedly, some recruiters are better than others. But then, so are some recruits. Also, personality has a lot to do with it. Some recruiters can't talk to lots of people at one time. Some are comfortable in crowds. I've known recruiters that did not like going to the college campus. One of my best recruiters practically lived there. You get the idea.
What I will tell you worked best for the really good recruiters that I observed was their openness and honesty. They would not "bullshit" an answer if they didn't know, but they would find out the answer eventually. If something sucked, they told you it sucked. In fact, they made sure that you understood that Basic Training was going to suck. But they also wanted you to understand how proud you and your family would be when you finally did graduate from Basic and earned the right to be called a Soldier in the world's greatest Army.
Anyway, the thing that frustrates me the most about all this "counter-recruiter" or "leave-my-child-alone" crap is that out of all the young men and women out there, not even half could join the Army. I, as a recruiter, don't want to harass your "child". I don't want to call your house 50 times a day, stalk your kid, or knock on your door at dinner time. When I do, though, it's because your "child" said he wanted my attention. Somehow, someway, in some fashion, Johnny or Susie told me he or she was interested in the Army. I just want to follow up on that interest and find out how far it goes. All I ask for is a chance to tell you what the Army has to offer and tell my Army story. If, after hearing what I have to say, Johnny or Susie isn't interested, needs more time to think or just wants to get more information, so be it. At least I'll hear an informed "no" instead of an ignorant "no".
Finally, everyone has an impression that all recruiters lie. Of course, a few bad apples can spoil the bunch, but here is a worm in your apple: most parents and recruitable kids lie. Recruiters, how many times have you heard the following (parents, how many times have you SAID the following):
LIE: I'm going to college/my son or daughter is going to college. TRUTH: not every kid goes to college. I'm not stupid. Your son took the ASVAB in school and barely passed. He's not going to college to study psychology. Your daughter is barely eligible to enlist in the least technical of Army jobs, she's not going to college to become a RN. So stop lying, most importantly, to yourselves.
LIE: I thought about enlisting but It's not for me. TRUTH: You don't know if it's "not for you" or not. All you know about the Army is what your uncle told you about Vietnam and that the slogan used to be "Be All You Can Be" but now it's "An Army of One". So, let me tell you what the Army is like TODAY. Not 5 or 10 years ago, not Vietnam or Grenada, but now. If you don't like it, fine. I'll take my informed "no" and move on.
LIE: I can't cut my hair. TRUTH: duh, yeah right. Here's a good twist: I'm growing my hair out to donate to charity, you know, for cancer patients. My reply: great, doesn't mean you can't enlist, though. Let me tell you about opportunities in the Army, if you like it, we can set things up so that you leave after you cut your hair to donate. Obviously you feel service to the community is important, which is why you donate to charity, so let me show you how you can serve your country.
LIE: MY parents/wife/girlfriend (switch gender for females) won't let me. TRUTH: This is America, buddy. You have the right to do what you want, within reason of course. Besides, you are 26 years old and your girlfriend's two kids by two different men are afraid of you. Your parents are tired of giving you gas money for your "tricked out" Honda Civic and picking you up from your job at Wendy's at 1:00 a.m. because you loaned your car to "Booger" go to go buy beer and he never came back. You know what, nevermind, we don't want you!
I could go on and on... and I know that my recruiter comrades could tell story after story of the silly bullshit that we hear day in and day out. But I'll end with this advice: stop calling your 18+ year old a child. He or she is legally an adult. "Leave my child alone" is silly and speaks more to your inability to parent than to the government's need to populate the military. It makes no sense to force recruiters to leave your "child" alone only to put the government in a position of drafting your left-alone "child" for the military anyway. Let the recruiters hear your son or daughter say "no thanks" on the phone so we can put it in our "database" and call you back in 6 months to hear the same "no thanks". Did you know that most enlistees told a recruiter "no" about 4 to 6 times before they said "yes"? Besides, what are you afraid of? Recruiters can't make your son join. We can't brainwash your daughter. We won't trick you into enlisting (oh, that bus just goes back to the recruiting office, not Basic Training! Trust me!). I know what you are afraid of. You are afraid your son or daughter will WANT to enlist! Heaven forbid your progeny serve the country which affords you freedoms unlike any other in the world!
Here's something for you to chew on. I had a recruiter come to me with a dilemma once. He had a parent call him and say his son wanted to enlist. Usually, that's a setup, meaning mom and dad want Junior to enlist and get the hell out of town before the sheriff gets him first. This parent, however, assured my recruiter that that was not the case, his son genuinely wanted to enlist. So, sergeant recruiter looks up the contact history of this kid and sees that he told the recruiter, "F**k off, I'll never join the f**king Army ever!" The recruiter felt that he might be going into a hostile situation. I told him to see what happens. If the kid gets belligerent, thank the parents and leave. However, if the kid really wants to enlist, remind him of that last conversation - in front of his parents. He did, and that guy shipped with no problems, happy to go.
posted by JACK ARMY at 6:56 PM
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